Names – they’re a fundamental part of a person’s identity and a seemingly centuries old tradition of humans. My name is Melissa Jane Cassidy, well that is my full name however at age thirteen before I started secondary school I decided to shorten my name and get called “Mel” at this new school.
Why did I do this? I decided to shorten my name in secondary school for a very simple reason, I have a speech impairment and often times when I introduce myself to people they don’t understand what I’m saying and I get called anything from “Meghan” to “Melanie” to “Morag”. So, I thought the easiest thing to do so that I was able to introduce myself to people easier was to change my name to “Mel” – one syllable, no tricky sounds to pronounce. It took me a while to get used to being called Mel but eventually it became a very natural name for me to respond to. My parents didn’t have any issues with me shortening my name either as they were the ones who decided to give me a name so frustrating to pronounce and I still went by Melissa outside of school.
I think overall people understanding my name at school was much less of a problem than I anticipated but I can appreciate my younger self’s concern. It in fact would sometimes cause confusion when teachers would read “Melissa” out on the register and then feel the need to apologise to me (which is very polite but would often make me feel awkward as my name was still Melissa) Although now that school has come to an end, I have the time and opportunity to consider whether “Mel” is going to be something I continue to call myself or whether I should go back to introducing myself as “Melissa”. I’m still uncertain about it for now, I have a lot of important people in my life that know and refer to me as Mel and I do feel like being called Mel feels natural and comfortable for me but I also love the name Melissa – it’s the name on the cover of my book and it’s what a lot of my family and oldest friends call me.
What do you introduce yourself as then? You may wonder. Unfortunately I don’t have a straight answer to that either, it really depends on the situation. For example, if it’s some friend of a friend that I’m meeting for the first time and I’m unsure how they are with disabled people I’ll introduce myself as “Mel” because the person is more likely to understand what I’m saying than if I introduce myself as “Melissa”. However if I’m meeting someone in a more professional way or just generally if I get the vibe that this person is used to disabled people and isn’t going to freak out if they don’t understand my name I’ll use “Melissa”. It sounds much more confusing than it is, ultimately they’re both my name and I don’t mind much which one people use for me.
It could be argued that me calling myself “Mel” so that others can understand me is pandering to the able-bodied people around me – which is true. It is definitely something I use to make my speech impairment seem less prominent when I meet people but I would say that as opposed to pandering, I am giving myself the option of introducing myself in an easier way rather than just doing it to make others feel comfortable. It’s my choice how I introduce myself and if I feel like just introducing myself as Mel – I have every right to do so. My speech difficulties vary a lot day-to-day and sometimes when meeting people I decide it’s going to be too much hassle to be “Melissa”.
I’m curious if other people with speech difficulties and complicated names have similar experiences. It may be a niche group and quite a unique issue but hopefully this clears up some of the confusion people often experience when they know me as “Mel” and hear me getting called “Melissa” or vice versa. Should you ever have the pleasure (or arguably displeasure) of meeting me in person and wonder what to call me, it is really either/or – Mel, Melissa, as long as it’s not a profanity I will be more than happy.
Buttons and Ramps 